Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a complex mental health condition that can affect anyone who has experienced or witnessed a event in which they were (or believed they were) at risk of death or sexual violence. These events might range from natural disasters and accidents to war, physical or sexual violence, or severe emotional trauma. While PTSD affects the individual directly, it also impacts their relationships with family, friends, and caregivers.
If you know someone who has PTSD, you may want to help but aren’t sure how to do so. Supporting someone with PTSD requires empathy, patience, and a willingness to learn. In this post, we look at five important things to understand when supporting individuals who are dealing with the symptoms associated with PTSD and trauma.
1. Understand What PTSD Is and Isn’t
One of the first steps in effectively supporting someone with PTSD is understanding what the condition actually involves. PTSD is not a sign of weakness or something someone can just "get over." It’s a legitimate mental health disorder that results from exposure to traumatic events and causes changes in the brain.
Symptoms of PTSD
While PTSD symptoms can vary from person to person, they typically fall into four main categories:
Re-experiencing symptoms: This includes flashbacks, intrusive memories, nightmares, or distressing thoughts related to the trauma. The individual may feel like they are reliving the event over and over again.
Avoidance symptoms: Individuals with PTSD may avoid people, places, or activities that remind them of the traumatic event. They may withdraw from social interactions or seem detached, emotionally distant, or numb.
Negative changes in mood and cognition: PTSD often leads to ongoing negative thoughts about oneself, others, or the world. This can manifest as feelings of guilt, hopelessness, or a lack of interest in activities that once brought joy.
Arousal and reactivity symptoms: This can include being easily startled, feeling "on edge," difficulty sleeping, or irritability.
It’s important to recognise that these symptoms are not something that the individual is intentionally doing or that they can easily control. They are physiological and psychological responses to the trauma they have experienced. People with PTSD often live in a state of heightened alertness, which can make everyday tasks feel overwhelming.
PTSD Isn’t the Same for Everyone
Not everyone with PTSD has the same experiences or the same triggers. While one person might experience vivid flashbacks, another might struggle more with avoidance and emotional numbness. Additionally, the severity of PTSD symptoms can fluctuate over time, influenced by stress, anniversaries of the trauma, or even seemingly unrelated life events. It's important to understand that PTSD doesn't look the same for everyone, and being supportive means being open to learning about your loved one/friend’s unique experience.
2. Avoid Being Judgmental: Listen, Don’t Try to "Fix"
One of the most helpful things you can do for someone with PTSD is to offer non-judgmental, empathetic support. People with PTSD often feel misunderstood or stigmatised, and it can be tempting for those around them to offer advice like "Just move on" or "You need to get over it." However, these well-meaning suggestions can often do more harm than good.
The Importance of Listening
For someone with PTSD, the simple act of listening can be incredibly healing. If your loved one/friend wants to talk about their trauma or how they're feeling, allow them the space to do so without interruption. Your role isn’t to offer solutions, but to listen with empathy and without judgment. Phrases like “I’m here for you” or “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you” can provide reassurance.
Avoid Dismissing Their Feelings
It’s common for people with PTSD to feel that others don’t understand their experience. Avoid saying things like "It wasn’t that bad" or "Others have it worse"—such statements can be invalidating and make your loved one/friend feel as though their trauma isn’t significant. Each person’s trauma is personal and impactful in different ways. Instead of focusing on the event itself, focus on the feelings they’re expressing, and validate those feelings. A simple "I can see that you're really hurting" can make a world of difference.
Don’t Try to "Fix" the Problem
It’s natural to want to help "fix" the situation when someone we care about is in pain, but PTSD is not something that can be solved with a quick fix. Therapy, professional treatment, and time are often required for someone to work through their trauma. While you can offer support and encourage them to seek professional help, it’s important to recognise that you cannot take away their pain or heal them on your own. Instead, focus on being a steady, supportive presence as they navigate their recovery.
3. Understand Their Triggers and Help Manage Them
An individual living with the symptoms associated with PTSD often has specific triggers—situations, people, places, sounds, or smells—that remind them of the trauma and cause intense emotional reactions. For example, a war veteran might be triggered by fireworks, or a person who survived a car accident might be anxious when driving. Identifying and understanding these triggers can help you better support your loved one/friend.
Learn to Recognise Triggers
Triggers aren’t always obvious, and they may not make logical sense to others. However, for the person with symptoms of PTSD, these triggers can evoke powerful memories or emotions. If your loved one/friend feels comfortable, ask them about their triggers so you can better understand what situations might cause distress. This can help you prevent or minimise their exposure to such situations when possible.
Create a Safe Environment
Once you know what triggers to avoid, work with your loved one/friend to create a safe, supportive environment where they feel comfortable. This could mean avoiding certain conversations, steering clear of places that might bring up painful memories, or simply being aware of how your actions or behaviours might unintentionally trigger them. The goal is to make their environment as predictable and stress-free as possible.
Addressing these triggers gradually, with the support of an experienced psychologist will be part of the individual’s future journey. Therapy will support them to face these triggers in a controlled, safe manner, ultimately allowing them to realise that the danger is no longer present and that they can regain control over their reactions. Until then, creating a safe environment where individuals experiencing symptoms of PTSD feel secure, and aren’t unintentionally re-traumatised, is helpful.
Be Patient During Episodes
When someone with PTSD is triggered, they may experience an emotional or physical reaction that can be intense and overwhelming. This might involve a panic attack, dissociation (feeling disconnected from reality), or anger. These episodes can be difficult to witness, but it’s important to stay calm, patient, and reassuring. Let them know that they are safe and that you are there for them. In some cases, they might need space to regain control of their emotions, so give them the time they need to recover without pressure or judgment.
4. Encourage Professional Help Without Pushing
Professional treatment is essential for addressing the symptoms associated with PTSD, but the decision to seek help must come from the individual. It’s important to encourage them to seek therapy, but it’s equally important not to push them into it before they are ready.
Educate Yourself on Treatment Options
There are various evidence-based treatments for PTSD, including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), and medication. Other holistic therapeutic options can include Equine-Facilitated Psychotherapy, which has shown some promise in addressing the symptoms of trauma and PTSD, but currently has less robust research into the benefits of this form of therapy. By learning about these options, you can provide informed support if your loved one/friend/friend decides they’re ready to seek help. However, avoid overwhelming them with too much information at once. Offer suggestions gently and let them know that you’ll support whatever decision they make about their treatment.
Encourage but Don’t Force
While therapy can be incredibly beneficial for individuals with PTSD, pushing someone too hard to seek help can backfire, making them feel pressured or ashamed. Instead of insisting they go to therapy, you can express concern and care by saying things like, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been struggling, and I think talking to someone could really help. I’m here to support you, whatever you decide.”
Offer Practical Support
If your loved one/friend does decide to seek professional help, offer practical support such as helping them find a therapist, driving them to appointments, or offering to accompany them if they feel anxious. Sometimes, the logistical aspects of starting therapy can feel overwhelming, so any assistance you can provide may make the process less daunting.
5. Take Care of Yourself Too
Supporting someone with PTSD can be emotionally taxing, and it’s easy to become so focused on their needs that you neglect your own well-being. However, you can’t be an effective support if you’re emotionally depleted or burned out. Taking care of yourself is not selfish—it’s necessary for both you and the person you’re supporting.
Set Healthy Boundaries
It’s important to set healthy boundaries when supporting someone with PTSD. While you want to be there for your loved one/friend, you also need to protect your own mental and emotional health. Setting boundaries can involve deciding when and how you’re available for emotional support, making time for your own self-care, and knowing when to step back if the situation becomes too overwhelming.
Seek Your Own Support
You don’t have to do this alone. Supporting someone with PTSD can feel isolating, but there are resources available to help you. Consider joining a support group for friends and family of individuals with PTSD, or seek therapy for yourself to process the emotions and challenges you may face as a caregiver. Talking to someone who understands what you’re going through can be immensely helpful.
Avoid Burnout
Emotional burnout is a real risk when you’re constantly supporting someone with a mental health disorder. Signs of burnout include feeling irritable, emotionally drained, or disconnected. Pay attention to your own emotional well-being and take time to recharge. Whether that’s through engaging in activities you enjoy, practicing mindfulness, or simply taking a break when needed, self-care is essential to maintaining your ability to support your loved one/friend.
Conclusion: Compassion, Patience, and Education Are Key
Supporting someone with PTSD can be challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to deepen your connection and provide meaningful care. The most important things you can offer are compassion, patience, and a willingness to educate yourself about the disorder. By understanding their triggers, offering non-judgmental support, encouraging professional help, and taking care of yourself, you can create a stable foundation for their healing journey. Remember that recovery takes time, and your continued support, even through setbacks, can make a world of difference in helping them regain a sense of safety and control in their life.
Below is a list of charitable organisations who can offer support and advice for Carers and individuals experiencing symptoms of PSTD.
1. Rethink Mental Illness
Rethink Mental Illness offers support, information, and services to those affected by mental health conditions, including PTSD. They also have resources and advice specifically for carers, helping them cope with the emotional and practical challenges of supporting someone with a mental health disorder.
Website: Rethink Mental Illness
2. Carers UK
Carers UK is a national charity that supports carers across the UK, offering advice, information, and peer support for people looking after loved ones with mental health conditions, including PTSD. They provide practical guidance and connect carers with local resources and support groups.
Website: Carers UK
3. Combat Stress
Combat Stress is the UK's leading charity for veterans' mental health, specifically focusing on helping those with PTSD, anxiety, and depression. They provide services for both veterans and their families or carers, offering support groups, information, and therapy.
Website: Combat Stress
4. Mind
Mind offers resources, information, and support for individuals experiencing mental health issues and their carers. They have specific guidance for carers who are supporting someone with PTSD and provide helplines, online communities, and local branches that offer in-person support.
Website: Mind
5. The Caregiver’s Network
While not specific to PTSD, The Caregiver's Network offers support and resources for people who are caring for a loved one with mental health conditions. They provide online forums and access to professionals who can guide carers in dealing with their loved one's PTSD symptoms.
Website: The Caregiver's Network
These organisations can offer resources, community support, and practical advice to help carers navigate the challenges of supporting someone with PTSD.
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Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash
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